Hello. I am a cat. I am writing this because humans love to explain us as if we were a mystery they are close to solving. They are not. They think we are distant, moody, or independent by accident. That is adorable. The truth is, everything we do is calculated. We observe quietly, judge softly, and act only when it benefits us. While you think you adopted a cat, we know exactly who owns this house and who simply pays the bills.
Here is a curiosity you will not like. When we ignore you, it is not because we did not hear you. We heard you perfectly. We just decided it was not important enough. Our ears work better than your patience. Another fact. When we knock things off tables, it is not clumsiness. It is physics, curiosity, and a gentle reminder that gravity works and your objects are temporary.
Humans also think we sleep all day because we are lazy. Incorrect. We rest because our minds are always active. We memorize routes, favorite spots, sounds of danger, and the exact moment you open a can. We know your schedule better than your calendar. That is why we are already waiting before you even think about feeding time.
One thing humans never understand is affection. We do love you. We just show it differently. Sitting near you without touching is trust. Looking away is comfort. Blinking slowly is emotional honesty. If we sit on your laptop, it is not jealousy. It is because your attention is clearly misplaced and we are correcting it.
So next time you say cats are unpredictable, remember this. We are not unpredictable. We are simply not impressed.